The Birth of Sidney: Fully Trusting the Tried-and-True Process

Ninth- time mom reaches even further depths of surrender as she fully trusts her body’s timing with her ninth birth. Birth is a family event for her, and she welcomes her ninth baby at home surrounded by her children. 

Being an experienced birth worker and seasoned mama of eight, I was well-aquainted with the beautiful blessing of birth as I headed into my ninth pregnancy. However, after having five hospital births and three homebirths, there were still things I desired for this birth that I had not yet experienced, and believe it or not, my midwifery team ended up supporting me in ways I didn’t even know I wanted for myself. The miracle of birth simply never gets old. It’s like a new part of you is uncovered with each surrender that brings forth a child. I’ve learned that birth is not an event to be controlled, but an experience to unfold as the body leads. Nonetheless, I still had deeper layers of surrender to be reached, even as a ninth-time mom.

As I prepared for this birth, I was determined to let birth take its full course with no meddling of human hands. With each of my previous births, my bag of waters was artificially broken– either from pressures within the hospital or of my own impatience. All eight births, I held a false anxious notion that I wasn’t progressing fast enough. My own midwifery brain always somehow overanalyzed my labors. This time around, I was going to truly trust my body and trust that it’s pace was perfect. I indulged in my typical, well-loved preparations throughout pregnancy including many homebirth talks, books, and videos with my children, and of course, a third trimester binge on positive birth videos. Birth has become a very special family event in our household, and proper preparation with our children is a big part of the experience going well for them. I also had extensive conversations with my midwife detailing what support I wanted and what I didn’t want. I specifically explained to her how I did not want to get in the way of my own birth by breaking my water. I told her, “Whatever I say, don’t let me do it.” There was significant mutual trust between us, and I was so grateful for such a meaningful connection all throughout pregnancy, labor, and birth.

At exactly 40 weeks pregnant with baby number nine, I woke up around 5:30 am not able to sleep anymore. I was having some contractions but definitely thought I was just in prodromal labor like I had with all my other eight children. I whipped up a protein shake and enjoyed rotating my hips all around my birth ball as the sun started to come up. After a while, I showered, made some breakfast, and got the kids up. By 8:00 am, my pants seemed gravely uncomfortable against my belly– the stretchiest pants I owned were calling my name. Still having intermittent contractions, I headed for my 9:30 am chiropractic appointment. I certainly wasn’t convinced this was real labor. In spite of my disbelief, I did wonder why in the world I was oddly driving so slow on the way back home. Clearly, I was experiencing some discomfort and a little disconnect from my outside surroundings. But upon arriving home, I still didn’t tell my husband or kids that I was having contractions. I made us some sandwiches for lunch, and as we sat down at the table together, I subtly started my contraction timer on my phone. It was around 11:00 am now, and my contractions were lasting about 60-90 seconds long and coming about every 3-4 minutes. I started to think maybe things were progressing.

Our midwife called to confirm we were still on for our prenatal appointment later in the day, but I told her the thought of driving an hour each way for the appointment did not sound pleasant. I clued her in on what my body was experiencing but told her it's probably still nothing. I did finally tell my husband at this point that I was having contractions because all I really wanted to do was crawl into my cozy bed. It wasn’t a half hour later that I called our midwife back to update her on the increasing pressure I was feeling with my contractions along with a few other signs I was now seeing. I continued to rest in bed with my calm birth playlist on repeat. My mind began to focus more inward as I felt things beginning to ramp up. I was intently relaxing each part of my body– I was not about to micromanage this labor. I had to trust that the timing was perfect and that my baby knew what to do. The kiddos were in and out of the room, checking up on me, bringing me food and water, being my sweet little helpers. Around 1:00 pm, I got up to pee (again), and the sensations moving through my body really began to pick up intensity. I figured I better call my midwife, knowing she was an hour drive away. Meanwhile, my husband filled the birth pool halfway (but I thought I was nowhere near getting in that pool).  

I was laying on my side in bed with closed eyes, breathing through my contractions as our midwife and birth assistant arrived around 2:45 pm. Once I felt their presence, I was able to allow myself to let go a little bit more and really welcome the strong sensations in full. They encouraged me to engage in some bodywork movements to keep labor progressing and to keep my baby from settling into an occiput posterior (sunny-side up) position, which she liked to slip into on and off throughout labor. They guided me with some standing sacral release motions, some lift and tucks with my belly, and some exaggerated lunges on my side in bed. After moving through various positions, physical touch became my greatest comfort. Along with my husband, my birth workers became so active in my labor, providing me with hip squeezes, back rubs, and soothing soft touch. In all my previous labors, my birth team was quite removed from labor and simply acted as a safety net, while my husband and I worked through labor together. This extra support was a new found blessing for me. As everyone’s gentle hands surrounded me with tender care, their words also filled my mind and body with peace. I heard affirming echoes of “Let your body relax into this,” and  “It’s not a rush. Nobody’s in a hurry,” which was exactly what I needed to hear to sink deeper into surrender. All throughout my labor it was like they read my mind when I didn’t have words– my midwife remembered all of my wants and needs that we had intentionally discussed over my prenatal visits. Even in the midst of a tornado watch (yes, we were in a tornado watch during labor), my midwife and birth assistant were steadfast in keeping my space serene and safe in between the interruptions of noisy warnings from everyone’s phones in the household. They kept quietly aware of the weather outside while making sure the environment inside was completely conducive to optimal labor land. 

Around 5:45 pm, the birth pool started to sound very nice, but I did not want to get into the water too early with fear of stalling my progress. I opted for a warm shower instead, which I couldn’t believe I hadn’t utilized with any of my previous births. I was beginning to feel quite weepy and in need of a refreshing reset. For 20 minutes, I went solo in the dark bathroom just talking and reconnecting with my baby as the hot water rained over my back. I lowered to a squatting position to see if that would bring some more comfort, and to my surprise and incredible delight, my water broke! This sent a rush of oxytocin flowing through my body. I was ready to meet my baby soon (I just didn’t know it yet). I got out of the shower and walked the short thirty or so steps to the now fully filled birth pool in our living room. My plan was to just walk around the room– I still wasn’t convinced it was time to get in the pool. But as soon as I reached the living room, I felt an immense surge of energy move down my body, sending me to lean against the couch in front of me. My midwife softly prodded me, “It’s really okay to get in the tub…” I finally conceded and gladly sat myself in the pool of warm water. 

Our children were gathered in the dining room eating dinner together as we approached baby’s birth, and it all felt so right and so normal. My babies had a sweet tendency to arrive at dinner-time. My husband and kids intermittently took turns holding my hand as I continued to breathe through my contractions while leaning over the side of the birth pool. Having my husband physically close and able to read my body language to discern what I needed and when was such monumental support. I listened to the calming soundtrack we had playing along with my two and a half-year old’s game of twenty questions. Low and behold, I pretty much still wasn’t convinced that baby was coming until she was crowning. I transitioned from squatting to more of a lunge position and soon felt her head emerging. Once her head was out, I sat back, and took a sacred pause. My little girls huddled around to see the face of their newest sibling. It took a couple minutes before my next contraction came to birth the rest of her body at 6:59 pm. As soon as she was completely earthside, I laid back with her on my chest. Another girl! All our children gathered around and helped us decide on their sister’s name. We settled on Sidney Caroline.  

Following birth, we were waiting patiently for Sidney to clear her lungs of some fluid. We suctioned out her mouth and nose a few different ways and gave her time to transition to being outside the womb. We could see from her skin color that there wasn’t optimal air exchange through her lungs, so our midwife gave her some supplemental oxygen with facial CPAP. Soon, her color became much more pink and her oxygen saturations increased. Skin to skin with my baby, I began praying that she would breathe effectively on her own and would not need to be transferred to a hospital for further assistance. We gave her a little more time before removing the CPAP and allowed her to fully clear out her lungs. She soon showed us she could breathe well on her own! 

My birth team’s calm and gentle demeanor kept me relaxed and unafraid during this whole experience. It could have easily been a frantic and fear-filled event, but my team protected my postpartum experience from being any sort of traumatic. We were so grateful for how they respected our time and space to make decisions during those early postpartum moments.

 My ninth birth proved again to be such an act of surrender, and it was so special to still experience new blessings throughout this specific labor with Sidney. Knowing that I didn’t meddle, that I didn’t micromanage, that I truly allowed labor to take its own time was so wonderful to me. And having our children gathered near to witness it, there’s nothing better than that. The beauty and unity that birth brings into our home and into our family as we go through it together is something I will cherish forever.