The Birth of Arthur: Nurtured, Loved, Redeemed.

Fourth-time mom experiences another wonderfully redeeming homebirth after two previous cesarean sections and one previous successful vaginal birth.

My perspective of pregnancy and birth has been quite a transformative process over the time of birthing my four earthside children. There was so much I didn’t know, including how to advocate for myself as a mother. Having experienced two cesarean sections at two different hospitals, I developed a sad distrust for the medical system. While I was grateful for my babies and I to be safe, the nurturing of me as the mother was severely sacrificed at my most vulnerable moments. I felt that my privacy was invaded and that informed consent was omitted. There was simply nothing relaxing or enjoyable about my experiences. When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, my obstetrician (OB) instilled increased fear in me about being able to birth vaginally. Really seeking a different experience, I began to look into homebirth midwifery. 

The homebirth midwife I saw extended so much grace and peace to me. Each time I left my appointments with her, I felt capable and empowered versus disappointed and fearful each time I left my OB appointments. Though I still knew very little about birth, I was willing to give homebirth a try. With the encouragement of my midwife, I dove into reading material (Ina May’s was my favorite!), watched birth videos, and changed my diet to aid in my hyperemesis during pregnancy. I was able to have an incredibly redeeming homebirth to bring forth my 3rd child! It took a long time, but I can now say I have truly been able to let go of the mom guilt, betrayal, and anger I held towards the medical system and my previous cesarean sections. I had to forgive them and myself, and I believe this led me to an even more peaceful and surrendered birth with my next baby. 

This time around with the birth of my 4th earthside child, there was no question about homebirth– it was certainly the path I wanted to take again. I read books about birth again, I dedicated myself to 10 minutes on the treadmill everyday. I enjoyed eating many dates and circling “figure-eights” on my beloved birth ball. I envisioned my dream birth and prayed fervently over the details of my desires for this specific birth. When the time came at 39 weeks, I was so ready to experience what God had for me. 

Just before going to sleep around 10:00 pm, I thought maybe I had lost my mucous plug, so I called my midwife to let her know it might happen tonight! Sure enough, I awoke at 1:00 am to alleviate my bladder and felt the trickle of my water breaking shortly after. I called my midwife again and told her to come as things were picking up quickly. While my husband was busy getting the birth tub and supplies ready, I focused on being alone with my contractions. I repeated to myself, “I can do this” as I allowed frequent movement of my body to help further progress labor. I can say with confidence that there was no fear in me. I meditated on scriptures that I had buried in my heart from the Christian Hypnobirthing app, and I eventually began praying for other people in my mind as each contraction came. It kept me focused on something much bigger than myself and this labor. I laid myself open over a pillow, being sure to relax every muscle in my body. I reminded myself to relax my jaw and my shoulders as each contraction came. Everything was so calm. My kids were sound asleep. And I was laboring in a wealth of peace through the night. It was exactly as I had envisioned it. 

Around 2:15 am, our midwife arrived, and I completely submerged myself into the birth tub. With the warm water up to my ears, I retreated into deeper surrender. The increasing intensity of my contractions was familiar to me, and I knew I would be meeting my baby soon. When I began to feel the urge to push, I tried really hard to just let my body do it gently without any additional effort from myself. I could feel my baby’s head getting close to crowning. I felt his head moving down and then up, down and then up. This is exactly what I desired as I was afraid of tearing my perineum from pushing. But very soon, I couldn’t NOT push with my contractions. With my husband leaning over me from behind, I grabbed onto his arms to pull down against as I pushed. Four to five pushes and my baby’s head was out–it was so encouraging to hear my birth team cheering me on. “You’re almost there! His head is out, keep going!” It was 4:00 am when baby Arthur completely arrived! I immediately brought him to my chest and sat in the stillness of the moment. The quiet of the morning was so peaceful and un-rushed. It again felt so redeeming. God had given me exactly what I had envisioned and prayed for this birth to be. 

Once I finally made my way out of the birth tub, my hormones were making me feel so cold! 

I was shivering so much and couldn’t seem to get it under control. My midwife embraced me in a strong, reassuring hug of warmth, and that was all I needed to know I was okay. I asked my husband to get the empanadas out of the freezer that I had prepared for this day. We all enjoyed empanadas together for breakfast before our birth team left for the morning. I felt so nurtured. I felt so protected and loved. I can truly say the heart of mine that once housed pain and fear, now abounds in forgiveness, peace, and beauty towards the realm of birth.