The Birth of Ophelia:Believing in my God Given Gift to Birth

Third-time mom surrenders her birth plan to God as she discovers the power, peace, and freedom of birth at home. She trusts her instincts and truly allows her body to lead her to meeting her new baby.

There had to be more to birth. More freedom, more ownership, more intentionality, more meaning. After experiencing the hospital’s involuntary protocols and intimidating pressures with my first two births, I pursued homebirth midwifery care with my third child. Not only was I pursuing more personalized care built on autonomy, but I also desired a more relaxed, more peaceful environment for labor and birth. Though I knew birth would be very different without epidural anesthesia, I was excited to trust my body while being surrounded by a team that knew me and knew birth. From beginning to end, I wanted to completely surrender this birth. During my pregnancy, I plugged into encouraging birth vlogs and hypnobirthing meditations to build my confidence. I also dedicated time every single night to simply connecting with my baby in preparation of meeting her. When it came time, I was so ready to take the plunge into homebirth. 

At 39 weeks pregnant, my body’s early labor signals started to kick into motion around 3:00 am Thursday morning. I had weeks of prodromal labor, so I wasn’t convinced that these labor sensations would stick around. Nonetheless, I did ask my husband to stay home from work given that he travels far for his job. I wanted him near just in case. We enjoyed a walk together in the early morning summer air and went about our day. By the afternoon, my little labor surges commenced to a pattern of about 4 minutes apart, but they were not picking up in intensity. We sent our two year-old and one year-old to their grandparents for the night, so we’d be ready if things did pick up. I talked to my midwife over the phone and told her things likely weren’t going to happen tonight given the lack of intensity with my surges. She kindly offered to come check my cervical dilation and found that I was 3-4 cm dilated. Wanting to get the show on the road, I consented to a membrane sweep to hopefully get things moving. We also found my baby to be in an occiput posterior (sunny-side up) position, so she gave me a set of movements to do to help shift my baby into optimal positioning for labor. She encouraged me to rest and relax and that I would likely be calling her later in the night, which made me feel so excited! As soon as she left, I started doing the movements she recommended, and instantly, my surges picked up intensity! They also spaced further out, thank goodness. I reclined myself up in bed a little and was able to sleep most of the night. 

By 4:00 am the next morning, I couldn’t sleep in between my surges anymore, so I got up and did the series of positioning movements again. Soon, my husband got up with me, and we watched the comedy Happy Gilmore Two together, which made the morning go by so fast. I engaged in the same bodywork movements again– I was set on getting labor moving. My husband tried making me some breakfast, but all I really wanted was juice and electrolytes. By 7:30 am, my surges were really picking up in strength, and I could tell things were beginning to shift. I called our midwife, and she joined us a short half hour later. My husband and his reserved nature kept himself busy with cleaning the entire sink of dishes and setting up our cute baby things. I meandered all about the house, smelling my peppermint essential oil to keep my nausea in check, while breathing through my surges. I reminded myself of how God made my body to do this. My midwife guided me through some forward- leaning inversions and sidelying- release movements to further progress labor and keep my baby in optimal position. I moved to the dilation station (aka toilet) for a while and just enjoyed the time to myself. I felt my surges getting stronger and stronger. The dilation station was working! My husband and midwife both kept popping their heads in every so often—I was still able to talk and laugh between surges at this point. I felt such a wave of gratitude. The mood was so light, and the atmosphere was truly relaxing. My husband, wanting something to do, kept asking me when he could fill the birth tub. I declared I was not stepping foot in that tub until I was at least six or seven cm dilated. Around 10:00 am, I consented to another cervical check, which confirmed I was 8 cm dilated. I finally gave them the go ahead to start filling the birth tub. I hopped in as soon as the water cooled down– my husband initially had the water temperature boiling at a whopping 116 degrees! 

The morning sun was leaking through our cheap “black-out” curtains, creating a warm glow in the room as I settled into the tub. My midwife encouraged me to try putting one leg up over the side of the tub and to try to find whatever movements felt most natural and comfortable to me. I was getting more vocal with my surges as they continued to increase intensity. They were requiring more of my focus now, and I was less chit-chatty. My mind had thoughts of how nice an epidural would feel, but I was careful to not speak those thoughts over myself. I could do this. My midwife offered to massage my leg muscles, and that helped me relax. A little bit before noon, I was really feeling the need to bear down and push. For the next 45 minutes, I pushed with no avail. I was absolutely exhausted. I knew my baby was not moving down despite my urge to push. My midwife gently asked if she could check me again, and I was all for that. It appeared that my baby still needed to make her final rotation to move through my pelvis. I was instructed to put my right leg back over the side of the tub again, but this time just to relax through my surges instead of pushing with them, which was such a relief. After allowing my body to truly take over for a few surges, I started to feel something different. I asked my midwife to check me again. My baby’s head was now fully through my pelvis! I was so thankful for such a wise and knowledgeable midwife every step of the way. I pushed with my next surge, but I could tell she still wasn’t moving downward.

At 12:50 pm, we decided it was time for a change—we were headed back to the dilation station, where progress had previously proved itself. My husband and midwife were on both sides of me, holding my arms and elbows, ready to help me out of the tub. As soon as my abdomen was out of the water, it was like I could not move my legs. They had become Jell-O! I had never felt so limp in my life. Their kind hands helped me stand there through an outrageous surge before helping me walk to the bathroom. I could no longer talk between my surges, I was completely inward-focused. We made it to the dilation station and with the very first surge there, I felt my baby dropping instantly. Not having the capacity to speak many words, “I’m pushing,” escaped my mouth. Although I wasn’t pushing—my body was pushing. I had a ten second break before the next surge, and immediately after that, another surge. Suddenly, my water broke and immediately, her head started crowning. I was terrified she was going to tear me in half, she was coming so fast, I was taking quick breaths in trying to hold her in almost! My midwife explained that it was my water that just broke, and I managed to blurt out, “She’s coming!” I heard her swallow her gasp of surprise before quickly asking me if I could stand up. I shook my head no. There was no way. My husband lifted my dead-weight body up off the toilet as my midwife prepared to catch my baby girl. Within seconds of my husband holding me up, my daughter’s entire head came out! It was amazing, but man was I tired. I remember being told to push again for the rest of her body to come, and I thought to myself, “Nope, I’m done.” One more surge (and a very weak push on my part) and some help from my midwife’s hands brought the rest of baby Ophelia earthside at 12:54 pm. 

It was so surreal. Since getting out of the tub, it only took four minutes and three contractions to birth my baby. My body knew exactly what to do– all I needed to do was relax. I sat back as Ophelia was brought to my chest. I couldn't believe I had just done that. Not to mention, she was my biggest baby yet, weighing 8 lbs (and no tearing, despite her coming so fast!). We walked the short distance to our cozy bed, and I requested Nutter Butter’s and milk for my post-birth meal. We were in such a sweet bubble with our new baby. Everything was perfect. As we snuggled and soaked up the moment together, our midwife made us breakfast in bed with eggs, fruit, and freezer waffles (per my request). Ophelia’s homebirth was so special. The full surrender of myself into God’s hands and his plan for this birth brought divine blessing. The freedom and peace that homebirth provided for me was so much better than I ever could have imagined. Even my one slightly irrational fear of people being able to hear my birth noises from outside our house was debunked as I later learned that my cousin had been walking along the trail behind our home at the peak time of my labor and of course didn’t hear a thing, haha! I was so grateful to have been in the comfort of home and to have had such an incredibly gifted midwife to guide my labor and birth with wisdom. Getting to truly experience all the feelings of labor to their fullest intensities was beautiful. Homebirth called me to supernatural surrender, and allowing my body to simply do what it was meant to do, was amazing.